Recommendations

Keetmanshoop: One of the Most Unique Places in Namibia

April 18, 2018 by jackson

Keetmanshoop is unique because the quiver tree forest, crazy rock formations, and fossils around this dusty desert town really made our mouths drop. All are about a 15 min drive from each other and offers the visitor something really spectacular to see.

Jackson was busy couldn’t even-ing with this amazing looking quiver tree.

It’s hard to put to words what a quiver tree forest looks like in person, but…

Imagine you’re in a world in which dinosaurs still roam around and, I dunno, their silhouettes howl into the horizon. You’re in the desert and you are surrounded by very strange looking trees that bush out from rocks all around you. You know you’re on Earth, because the sky is blue, but otherwise it’s strange AF. It’s a land that feels untouched by humanity and far, far older than we can imagine. (That is, until the flood lights come on at dusk and suddenly the magical feeling is dampened by the orange glow). That’s kind of what it feels like to wander around this place.

Those quiver trees are not actually trees. They are of the same family as the aloe (looking at their leaves they strike a very similar resemblance). They will reach maturity after 200 years and stand very still even in strong winds. Why are they called “quiver trees”? because the san people (the old inhabitants of the area) would use the branches of the trees to hold their arrows while they went hunting. So, a quiver for their arrows and therefore: quiver tree.

We walked into the forest at sunset and watched the sun sink through their spiky branches and liven up the sky with tremendous amounts of pink and magenta. There was a distant storm that first night and the entire sky was putting on a spectacular light show. We sat in awe until the world turned deep purple, then blue, and we had to walk back to camp.

The only thing to really ruin the moment was the occasional sound of the cars on the road.

We visited “Giant’s Playground” down the road the next morning. This area boasts massive amounts of rocks that are piled high, as if a giant came through and decided to precariously pile massive rocks on top of each other. Remember when I mentioned how the quiver tree grows out of the rocks? These are the same rock, they’re called dolerite and were formed 160 million years ago in that same magma non-explosion that took place in this area. The rocks get a black hue because of oxidation after years of being exposed at the surface.

Thank goodness for these signs, didn’t want to get lost in there!

This place was especially eerie because we were the only ones there and it seemed that every corner we turned looked exactly like the last corner, causing the mind to wonder if we had been there before. The path is well marked with posts and signs so you don’t get lost, but even just climbing over a pile to get a look at the landscape made me nervous about getting lost. No cell coverage. No people. No road after a while.

The visit to the “Playground” only took about 40 minutes and the price of admission was included with the cost of the ticket to the quiver tree forest which was about 100 Namibian dollars per person (roughly $8USD).

We drove further down the road to see the Mesosaurus fossils.

This, I think, was one of the coolest reasons to stop at this area. Remember how I mentioned dinosaurs back there? This is the evidence of them!

Giel, an old leathery farmer with bright blue eyes that twinkled with laughter (which he did quite a lot), took us on a wonderful one-hour tour of his farm to show us the amazing finds he has.

He showed us the grave of a German soldier who was shot and killed by the locals over one hundred years ago. Then he took us to the place where seriously well-preserved Mesosaurus fossils were lying in the sand. Too cool!

He explained how his son had found the fossils about 30 years ago and that he thought it was a salamander’s impression on some sand. Upon further research from the local paleontologists at the local university, they were all able to learn about the small creatures that had once flourished in the murky swampy area that used to exist millions of years ago in what is now dry desert.

I gawked at the fossils. He even let us touch them (sacrilege!). The tour was 130 Namibian dollars per person (about $10USD).

Keetmanshoop is just up the road from Fish River Canyon and is a perfect place to stop to see some awesome stuff. I’d recommend 1 night here as most of the stuff you can see can be done in a few hours.

Have you been to Keetmanshoop? What did you think!?

What is Namibia Like?

April 11, 2018 by jackson

Our road trip in Namibia was one of the best road trips we have ever taken.

What is Namibia Like? Namibia is breathtakingly beautiful, vast, and empty. It’s easy to explore independently, the locals are friendly, it’s safe, and tourists are almost non-existent in some places. It’s a great time.

Quiver tree forest near Keetmanshoop, Namibia.

It’s the Perfect First Splash into Africa.

Ever dreamed about African travel but didn’t know where to start? Namibia is the place to go. Screw Botswana: it’s expensive and teeming with tourists!

Many people think of Africa as a country (it’s not) riddled with AIDS, sketchy thieves, and Malaria. This can be true of almost anywhere on the planet (hate to tell you this, but there’s AIDS in The States, too!). I think a lot of people opt for the overland tours and pre-arranged itineraries “just to be safe”, but that is so not necessary for Namibia! You can easily do it independently. And, I think, you’ll enjoy yourself more.

There are some bumpy roads and some seriously empty places (bring water and food in case you get stuck for a few hours…) but otherwise traveling on your own here is not too much worse than travel in any other “western” style country.

Busting the crap out of our calf muscles climbing this sand dune.

Namibians speak English! Woohoo! Oh, they also speak German, too! You can get directions, order food, talk about the weather and even eat delicious German cuisine.

Petty theft is not really a thing to worry about in Namibia outside of the major city centers. Your biggest concerns will be based around your car: flat tires, cracked windshields, busted suspension coils, running out of gas, and getting stuck in sand are very common problems on the road.

Namibia has so much to offer the adventure seeker, the wildlife enthusiast, the star-gazer, the camper, the explorer and even the lazy. Etosha National park boasts elephants, rhinos, cheetahs, giraffes, zebras and much more. You can go to the desert to climb sand dunes at sunrise. There are incredible dark skies to watch the stars. Rivers to swim in that are full of hippos and crocs! You can check out massive canyons and empty parks that will stretch on into the horizon. Truly, this country feels untouched, pristine, and away from everything. It’s perfect.

Namibia is not Well-Known.

Recently, Mr. Trump called Namibia “Nambia” and referred to African countries as “shitholes.” He couldn’t have been farther from the truth (or more embarrassing, but that’s a different story…).

Very few people know about Namibia (even the president of the USA, for that matter!) Because this is so not well-known (outside of Germany that is) you will not be competing with hordes of tourists. In fact, you’ll likely be the only person on that canyon ledge or driving along that gravel road in the middle of the beautiful park you’ll be cruising through.

A walk along the Fish River Canyon Edge.

It Feels Like No One Lives Here.

Namibia is one of the least densely populated countries on the planet. As a result: it’ll be empty road for hours. No cars. No people. No houses. Well, maybe a zebra.

It’s Not Cheap.

I hate to tell you this, but Namibia is not for the shoe-string traveler. We did our damn best to keep our travel expenses to a minimum while traveling around for a month and it was hard. There are precious few hostels (and you’ll only find them in city centers), lodges are mighty expensive, and gas will really start to add up.

If you’re not willing to part with the $100-200 dollars per night to stay in a lodge, prepare thyself for camping.

Generally, camping will cost between $20-50 dollars per night for a couple.

Renting a car will cost about $30-50 bucks a day for an SUV, about $100 for a fully loaded 4×4 camper van. Entrance fees will run you between $5-20 bucks, depending on the park.

Dinner will cost about $10-15 dollars per person in a restaurant.

You’ll Need to Rely on Yourself.

There is no public transportation easily accessible to tourists. Other than an overland tour, you’re going to have to rent a car and do A LOT of driving.

Renting a car is your best option, but if you can’t drive stick shift on the right side of the road (they drive the same side as the British!) you’ll need to get on a tour.

Most travelers will opt for the loaded 4×4 (did I mention it was $100 bucks a day!?!). We tried to do the trip in a 2-wheeler which turned out disastrous for us, and eventually swapped up for an SUV which made the travel SO MUCH BETTER. (Here are some tips about renting a car in Namibia.)

The Internet is Almost Non-Existent.

Sorry, but if you like connecting to Facebook at the end of the day you’re gonna be very sad. There were precious few times we could connect to the internet or even get data on our phones. Jackson got a Namibian SIM card which only worked in the towns and cities (that made getting stuck in sand in the desert for a few hours REALLY fun because our phones didn’t work…). WiFi is slow and expensive at camps. Bring a lot of books or a kindle.

No internet? We went to the Swakopmund Museum for a little afternoon entertainment.

You Can’t Trust what Google Says.

Don’t rely on google to help you. It is surprisingly out of date about what roads exist, padstals (farm-to-table restaurants) you can get food in or even what towns exist on the map. We used the “MapFactor Navigator” App (free!) which was invaluable to us. You can download the map beforehand and it acts like a GPS even when you don’t get signal (which is most of the time!).

You’ll likely get free Namibian maps at the borders and in the cities, which can also be a big help.

Sometimes it felt like we were looking at maps like this for direction…

Namibia’s Pixelated Unless you have a Zoom Lens.

iPhone pictures will not do your trip justice. Zebras will cross the roads and get close sometimes, but usually hang out in watering holes way over *there* and your only hope of capturing that is with a zoom lens. If you’re gonna come down here, come prepared!

This Place is Impossible Unless you get Yourself Some Comprehensive Travel and Car Insurance.

You will get a flat tire. You will crack your windshield. You will need insurance to help you out. Just accept it and enjoy yourself.

Getting that first crack in our windshield fixed.

Namibia’s Full of Varying Weather.

We visited in the shoulder season of March (the rainy season). In the desert that means a whole lot of nothing because you’ll have blue skies and hot hot sun no matter what time of year you’re there.

In Caprivi, in the North, it meant tons of thunderstorms.

On the coast, it meant a lot of wind and mist.

In the rest of the country it was hot, dry and beautiful.

Rainy season also means a lot of green growth, plentiful watering holes and fat animals. You won’t see as many animals as you would if you were to go during the dry season, but you will see lush forests, full rivers, and tons of birds.

What’s Namibia Like?

In one word: Awesome.

Convinced?

I hope you are. So many people will overlook Namibia simply because they’ve never heard of it. Botswana has got Prince Harry’s approval, so it’s overrun with tourists and is very expensive. I’ve got so many stories to share of how wonderful this country is. I hope one day you get a chance to see it for yourself.

Fish River Canyon: A First Stop in Namibia

March 31, 2018 by jackson

We were on our way to Fish River Canyon and Namibia stretched out in front of us: a never-ending lunar landscape in all directions. It was shocking because as soon as we had passed the border the entire world shifted (how is that possible?). We went from reddish sandy semi-arid climate with rolling hills to slate-gray and flat. Also: all the cars disappeared. Everyone disappeared.

B1. Our first major road in Namibia and no one else anywhere!

We drove in wondering silence as B1 shot ahead of us into the mirage created by the heat of the sun. It looked like the sky was leaking onto the asphalt and swallowing everything on the horizon. I was reminded of the people wandering the desert looking for water and getting excited by the mirages, it really does look like pools of water in the distance.

Namibia is nothing but distance. It’s distance everywhere. I’d never realized how small and digestible people can make a country feel until the people were all gone. It was the four tires underneath me that was the sole reason I was not going to lie down and die in the middle of this nothingness.

We didn’t pass our first truck until 30min into the country. It blew past our 2-wheeler like a hurricane, shaking us in its wake. This was a major road! Where was everyone?

We pulled over to a rest stop to get our bearings. Opening the door the air was hot and windy, tons of gray sand being pulled across the highway by the wind and then whipping out toward the emptiness that surrounded us. In the distance we saw clouds that were probably dropping water somewhere although it seemed impossible that this part of the world ever got water. Jackson and I stood dumbfounded at the sheer size of what we were looking at.

I’ve never been to space, but I suddenly felt a love toward our stupid white Ford Fiesta that was fierce. This little car was our spaceship, our tether to humanity. It was our way out and our way in. It was a tiny mouse hole in a large brick wall of nature that one could look at and find any semblance of meaning and scale.

“Let’s get back in!” I yelled over the wind. Jackson gave me a thumbs up.

Pulling the door closed and starting off again I panicked a little at the grand scheme we were trying to realize. Who were we to try to drive Namibia in a 2-wheeler? Were we crazy? Barreling toward Fish River Canyon the roads were well maintained: no potholes, no garbage, no traffic. I was so relieved.

Here is what South Africa looked like just before we went through the border.

Namibia has an alphabetized road system. An ‘A’ road is a super fancy you’ll-find-me-by-the-capital-only road. The ‘B’ roads exist as the main arteries of the country. They snake up and down and generally lead the drivers to bigger settlements and cities in Namibia. ‘C’ roads are paved/non-paved gravel roads, depending on where you are. ‘D’ roads are gravel and dirt roads that snake into the bush and lead to national monuments and natural wonders (we lovingly began to call them “We’re Dicked” roads). And, let’s not forget the ‘F’ roads, the “you’re fucked if you are on one of these without a 4×4” roads. We haven’t taken one of those yet as most of them look like a goat path turned into a road large enough to drive about 100m in before you sink your car into 3 feet of sand.

Most roads to get anywhere in Namibia are the ‘C’ roads.

We quickly learned even if it the map says you can drive a ‘C’ road in a 2×4, that doesn’t mean you should…

Our first ‘C’ road: C10 toward Fish River Canyon. Also: No one.

To get to Fish River Canyon from South Africa, you’ll need to turn off B1 onto C10 toward Ai-Ais. This road was much bumpier, but overall fine. We dropped from 120km/h to about 70 and tooled our way toward the second largest canyon on the planet. The landscape changed immediately: rocky, hilly and brown.

Skipping Ai-Ais in favor of getting to Hobas Campsite, we turned right onto D324 (otherwise known as C37) and hit bumpy, corrugated roads. Our speed plunged to 30km/h and we bumped and banged our way toward the campsite. We didn’t see a car for an hour in either directed before several 4x4s blew past us, blanketing us in their dust (this happened a lot in our 2-wheeler).

Getting closer to the canyon. Notice the corrugation? Nooooo!

Ever driven on highly corrugated roads? If you haven’t, I’ll save you the trouble: THEY ARE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. We bounced along in our little car and jostled our way toward the campsite. It took a long time.

I’ll be writing a post specifically about the camping in Namibia, and save that for later. In the meantime, here is a stunning sunset we saw from our camp:

Fish River Canyon was nice. It’s no Grand Canyon, but it’s very beautiful. Here are some photos Jackson took of it.

We woke up early and booked it out to the viewing platform from the campsite around 8am. The drive to the edge took us a while (about 20min) because the roads were bumpy. (I imagine a 4×4 would get there about twice as fast as we did!).

Road to the edge. Doesn’t look like there is a Canyon over there, huh?

The first viewing platform is covered in info about the canyon, the ecosystem, some history of the region and weather. Somewhat interesting. The platform is nice and has places to sit and eat under shade. The view is underwhelming. Once we were there I felt wholly unimpressed. I felt guilty. It is a really nice canyon!

At the edge during the little hike we did. The views were much better once we left the first viewing platform.

Jackson suggested we walk along the edge to another viewing platform in the distance. Seeing that it wasn’t too hot by that point, I agreed.

The walk was about 30min each way and provided excellent views of the Canyon! My misgivings earlier faded away as I was able to see the canyon walls fall into the distance. This was more like it! Plus, we were the only ones doing it so we could stop and admire and go as fast as we wanted. I’d highly recommend this walk!

The other viewing platform is the entrance to the 5-day hike you can go on that follows the Fish River and puts the hiker at Ai-Ais at the end. It sounded like a really cool hike, but not one I would do in the summer. Apparently, temperatures in the basin of the canyon can get as hot as 50C during the day and drop to 0C at night! Yikes!

Camping costs came to about $30USD for two nights and 2 people. You’ll need to pay for the park entrance fee which was about $25USD for two nights. Honestly, you could probably only spend one night and see the canyon the next morning before driving off because there are no real hikes you can do and there isn’t much activity to participate in at the campsite other than a pool. The WiFi cost money to use, so we didn’t.

Namibia was off to rip-roaring start!

Activities In Cape Town

March 19, 2018 by jackson

We tried to do as many activities in Cape Town as we could (without driving more than 20 min.) in the 5 days we were there.

Our friend Jen and Jackson at the top of Kloof’s corner lookout.

Our first hike was up Lion’s Head.

This hike was billed as an “easy” hike that should take between 2-3 hours. I would not call this an easy hike. Then again, we hiked this mountain at 1:30 in the afternoon when the sun finds all shade and burns it away to hot embers. So, maybe this hike is easy in the soft temperatures of early morning? I dunno.

The hardest part of the trek is near the top when you have to use metal staples and chains bolted into the rock wall to haul yourself up. There are plenty of signs around this part that will gleefully tell you the city has no part to play in your demise should you be stupid enough to hurt yourself or die up there. Therefore: you are forewarned you take this hike at your own risk.

The top of the mountain is stunning. Hell, the walk up is stunning, too! There is a 360 degree view of the city and the ocean and you cannot take enough pictures!

All told, it took the three of us about 3 hours to go up and back. We were sunburnt, sweaty messes when we were done, but boy did we earn the FABULOUSLY delicious burgers we ate at Royale Eatery.

The next hike was a smaller “ouch my thighs hurt too much” cop-out up Table Mountain.

If you squint, you can see the little speck ahead of us that is Jen.

This short hike is called Kloof’s Corner and takes the hiker up to a gorgeous panoramic view of Camps Bay and Lion’s Head. It’s about an hour up and back. This was a lot easier than Lion’s Head, but still quite steep and very hot in the sun. Would recommend this walk if you have family members who hate hiking, are too out of shape to hike, or you’re busted in the legs (us).

3rd hike, Table Mountain, was Awesome…

…and also a Butt-Kicker to the maxxx. Like: StairMaster 3,658 Steps Up and Down. It’s a hike that makes you want to lie down and wimper when you’re done, which is exactly what we did when we finally came down (5 hours later) and beached ourselves in Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens. We only found the motivation to move when a little snot-nosed boy threw up next to us. Sore muscles be damned!

These were the “nice” stairs, they got bigger and rockier the higher you went up.

The views at the top are (wait for it…) stunning. Plus, there is a lot to do and see when up there.

Walking along the reservoir at the top. It was beautiful but very dry and windy.

There is a friggin’ beach (but it’s really chilly in the wind, so maybe bring a sweater?).

The beach with a couple of brave souls swimming in it.

There’re a bunch of gorges to climb in, too.

We did not do the cable ride because it was too windy. Oh well. Another burger at Royale Eatery should help soothe that loss (and aching butt). For Goodness’ sake get thee a mint chocolate milkshake: yowza!

Collapsed at the end for a much needed zone-out.

We also explored VA Waterfront.

This is where a whole lotta’ tourists will go to get artesanal ice cream, expensive appetizers, and listen to some really great busking.

All the tourists looking at Table Mountain.

We passed on the expensive appetizers (how could we eat that muck when Royale Eatery’s pizza called to us?! I promise I am not getting paid by these people or in any way benefiting from pushing this restaurant: it was just SO DAMN GOOD!).

The ice cream was yummy! The buskers were fabulous! Lots of great music and of so many varying styles. All African: a major plus. A great walk, overall.

Walked around Bo Kaap

This neighborhood of predominantly Malay transplants is filled with delightfully colored houses. It is also where we were staying while in “The Bowl” of downtown Cape Town.

The only thing to be aware of if you stay here is that the mosques will do their call to prayer starting at 5am. The prayers will echo all over the area and there are a lot of mosques…

Toured the Biscuit Mill

Super touristy. Super Yuppie. Super pass.

Didn’t like how crowded this place got. I felt like I was in a Brooklyn Farmer’s Market on a Sunday at 11am. It was pack-o loco. There were so many people we couldn’t even make out the stuff for sale in some of the stalls. Ew.

Look: if you like tchotchkes then this will delight you. Otherwise the lines were so long we couldn’t even smell what they were cooking, let alone look at it. We booked it out of there after about 40 min.

We Went to the Iziko South African Museum

There’s the Museum behind the statue (really lovely building!).

At about $3USD per person for the entrance, you can’t really go wrong. If the weather outside turns to a spitty rain (which it did while we were there) high thee to this really beautiful building to tour the numerous animal replicas. My favorite part was the photography room filled with winners and honorable mentions of some of the best wildlife photography I have seen outside of National Geographic. We spent about 2 hours there and that felt like quite enough time to get the lay of the land.

Jackson and Jen really enjoying the photography.

With all these activities in Cape Town, you can really enjoy the city and the surrounding area with very little driving. There is plenty more to see that we didn’t have time for! That said, you can easily spend a week here if you’re willing to drive out of town (which is quite easy as the traffic was not too bad!).

The Cango Caves: Overcoming my Fear of Small Spaces

March 6, 2018 by jackson

Oudtshoorn, I would hazard to say, is not known the world over for much. It’s a small town located in the plains of Southern Africa, about a 2 hours drive inland from the coast. What sets this location apart is the Cango Caves: a sprawling chain of subterranean chambers that reaches back into the mountains some 1.2 k/ 1 mile back from the entrance.

The map of the Cango Caves on the inside.

Feeling cocky from the cave adventure we did in Khao Sok, Thailand, I was ready to explore some more underground catacombs. Jackson, Jen and I signed up for the “Adventure Tour” an extended tour that takes the visitor farther back into the caves to go on a special exploration of some of the smaller areas not seen by the general public.

I was feeling a little less confident when Jackson described the measurement tools at the entrance for people to measure if they are “small enough” to go through the caves (small enough, how small!?) We were also warned on the website that you need to be physically fit to do the tour and that the whole thing would take about 90 min.

Some quick info about the caves:

The drive to Cango Caves is a 30min drive from Oudtshoorn.

The tickets for the adventure tour came to 290 Rand for me and Jackson ($25USD at the time of writing this).

You can buy the tickets at the box office, but make a reservation beforehand. We asked our host at Oudtshoorn to do us the honors, which she did with gusto.

A little bit of history of the Cango Caves will tell you that prehistoric man lived in them some 80,000 years ago (dang!). It wasn’t until the 1700s that they were “rediscovered” and the European settlers took an interest in exploring them. Over the course of the next 200 years explorers would excavate and discover more chambers by climbing deeper and deeper into them.

Inside:

When we entered, we were greeted by a very well-lit, easy-to-follow path.

Our guide was a lady who seemed thoroughly “over it” and admitted as much as she turned on the lights (for what must have been the 100th time that week) so that we could take more detailed pictures of the fantastic stalagtites and stalagmites. At one point she pointed to a column and told us the pillar was over 250,000 years old and then practically yawned after mentioning it.

The 250,000 year old pillar and our guide on her 250,000th tour.

“Is anyone claustrophobic?” She asked before we continued.

I timidly raised my hand.

She gave me a side-eyed glance that said I’ve seen your type and said: “We’ll see…” before hustling us over what she called “the first warm-up.”

The first warm up was a breathless series of staircases that rose up and down through what felt like an endless row of chambers. Our guide raced through them and I tried not to look winded while catching up. As she walked she said that the deeper we got into the caves the more humid and stuffy it would be. She explained that there was no ventilation back there and that the only fresh air coming in was from the entrance we had walked through all those many moons ago. I’ll be honest: the idea of crawling through a tunnel with nothing but humid, stuffy air made me want to panic-run back to the entrance. Where was my sense of adventure like in Khao Sok?

Massive structures like this are all over the place at the beginning of the cave. (That’s Jen at the bottom of it taking a picture!)

We had to walk through one chamber that had a really low ceiling so we had to walk doubled over for a while. I felt like the earth was going to crush me. Ugh, why does anxiety have to ruin a perfectly fun adventure?

We arrived at the “waiting room”, a medium sized chamber that our guide told us could be a place for us to drop our bags, phones, waterbottles, and weakling members who were too yellow-bellied, chicken-shit to go into the smaller chambers. Pointing to a long metal ladder that led up to a tiny opening, the guide then said that that was the “Tunnel of Love” because it hugs you as you walk through it. Was it hot in there? I tried to take deep breathes.

“Jackson. I don’t know if I can do this…” I said as one of our group of 6 announced loudly that there was no way in hell he was going up that ladder.

The guide overheard me.

“Try the Tunnel of Love, if you can’t do that you can come back here and wait.” She said. I looked her up and down. She wasn’t very tall, but certainly had more girth than I did. If she can squeeze though the tunnel everyday with a group of stupid tourists (sometimes as many as 30 people!?!?) then I could do it. She made no effort to convince the guy who dropped out to come. Perhaps she saw something in me?

The adventure that followed was, indeed, every much of what the adventure tour promised. I mean: this was a playground for adults. The real turning point was crawling through the “Devil’s Chimney” a tiny tunnel angled at 45 degrees and only 24 inches high. It was 4 meters long (about 13 feet). To get through it, you have to crawl on your belly and haul yourself up using your arms and legs whilst slithering across the bottom.

I did it. I almost bailed but Jen and Jackson would hear none of that. Victory!

A crappy selfie, but it was all I managed to take while down there!

All told, the adventure tour with our group of six (3 other local South African engineers joined us) took an hour. It was so much fun and I would HIGHLY recommend this! Although the warnings are right! You should not go on this tour if you have any extra girth and if you get winded really easily.

Quick Note: when you slither through “the Letter Box” opening, remember not to breathe too much…

The Striptease Trail in Tsitsikamma Park

February 28, 2018 by jackson

The Striptease trail is everything an avid hiker could want: a challenging walk over boulders and trail, ample places to take a dip to refresh oneself, and stunning scenery. Just make sure you bring plenty of water and food because this will take several hours to hike!

Some directions and tips:

To get to the Striptease trail, you’ll first have to drive to Tsitsikamma Lodge up the road from Thornham on N2.

The trail is out the back of the lodge, past lodge house number 17. You’ll have to check in at the front desk and give them your name so that they know you went back into the forest. They’ll also give you a map of the route with handy time estimates on it!

We didn’t pay any entrance fee.

In total, the hike took us about 4 hours with an hour-long break in the middle to eat lunch and bathe. It also depends on how many pools you’ll want to jump in along the way!

There are no bathrooms along the trail.

One more note: this is a challenging walk. If you have knee problems, or trouble squatting many, many times this will not be a comfortable experience! Also expect to be gone for several hours so leave early!

There’s Jen getting some water and these boulders and rocks are just a sample of all the clamboring you’ll have to do!

Our experience:

We started on the trail at 10:45am: a horizontal path dug through the still conifer tree farm behind the lodge. The sun wasn’t out yet. The weather report had told us that it would make an appearance later that day, but it was still chilly.

Hiking down into the gorge we saw the river which was stained brownish orange. My Eastern US experience told me it was polluted. Water doesn’t look like that! Jackson said otherwise. “According to the internet, it’s stained because of tannins in the leaves and soil.” Huh. So, it’s tea.

Jackson checking out the water for the first time. (Notice the blue paint? That’s your trail marking!)

Jackson went on: “In the guide from the lodge, it says that the water is really clean. You could drink it if you wanted.” He squatted down by the bank for emphasis and pooled a handful of water in his palms. I watched, fighting down my anxieties about a rotting baboon putrefying the river water upstream and ultimately killing the love of my life, as he took a sip. “Yep. Tastes like tea.”

Ok. I’ll bite. Or sip. Yes! Weak tea!

The hike is called the Strip Tease trail because it is named after the pools that collect along the hike. The rock (limestone?) has been carved out over a long period of time by the river and formed pools that have been named very silly names like “Bikini Pool”

“Topless Pool” and “Bottomless Pool”, etc. (directions for the article of clothing you should take off when you dive in!).

Would I recommend this hike? Absolutely. It was one of the best hikes I’ve done.

The three of us had a lot of fun stripping off our clothes and being in the wilderness naked, because why not? We were the only ones there!

We jumped into the tea river at the end and it was divine! Cool, refreshing. We sundried on the pebbly beach as we ate our lunches.

The only thing I would caution against is taking the mountain route back to the lodge. In an attempt at a loop, hikers can take the high road back which walks along the crest of the mountains and gives the walkers views of the gorge and river from above. This route sucked: it was badly maintained and the underbrush was so bad we were worried we’d lose site of the trail.

The mountain hike. Can you tell where the trail was? We couldn’t!

Plus, we all got covered in cuts from all the scratchy bushes and leaves. Definitely avoid this route and just go back the way you came in.

The scar is old, but the scratches and bruises are not!

We finished the day around 4pm after starting at 10:45am! A great day!

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